Comrades and Citizens,
Health care is a right not a priviledge of wealth. Therefore tonight I am ordering the arrest of the leading health care profiteers, the expropriation of all pharmaceutical companies and the shutting down of the health insurance industry. To make room for these crooks I am releasing all “drug offenders” from the jails. As of this evening every one is covered, from cradle to grave, and no one pays out of pocket. All immigrants will be covered. Welcome to America! Birth control will be universally available and our public schools will encourage healthy sexual relationships. Abortions will be provided on demand. I will fund this change by eliminating the Department of Defense and all military spending.
Thank you and good night.